The first step is securing your position. Timing is everything; if you think you can penetrate the podium while Kylie is blaring, you’ve got another thing coming. A cheesy 80s rehash or pseudo-rock slash dance track is your best bet. No one expects you to dance to that crap though; you simply need to mark out your territory during the lull. And just as lions spray their urine, you have a powerful liquid weapon at your disposal: your water bottle. More than a good source of rehydration, careful placement can double your allocated dancing space.

It’s now time to drop your patented moves – don’t pretend like you haven’t been practising for hours at home. Whether just shaking your groove thing or sending a message to loved ones via interpretive dance, just keep the number one rule in mind – big sweeping arm movements and kicking equals more room for you, and less competition. Go get ‘em, tiger.