Clubber’s Guide to…
Randoms
Some nights, it just seems like every bugger in the joint wants to chat your ear off. It would be naïve of anyone to think that every time you chat to someone at club, you will follow through with the promised call, and the planned coffee / movie / shag / ritual chicken slaying that seemed like such a good idea at the time. Secretly, you know this, and they know this. They are single-serving friends, nothing but a passing fancy for the evening that will be forgotten as soon as your head hits the pillow. They are random clubbers.
Ever felt you could get more value out of your random? Well, now you can. People seem to forget the number one, obvious rule: they don’t know you. Why not entertain them with stories about your illustrious hand modelling career, with frequent "look but don’t touch!" exclamations? Put on an American accent, and when they return from going to the toilet, change it to French. Wonder out loud where your identical twin has disappeared to, and excuse yourself to find them. Go round the corner, mess up your hair and reverse your top, then walk past the random with a blank look on your face. Remember – a stranger’s just a friend you haven’t freaked out yet.