In a scene chockers with pretence, St Kilda’s Greyhound is refreshing in its down-to-earth approach – there’s no delusion that it’s the epitome of all things glitz and glamour. It’s not totally trashy by any means; just a club where you can go have a great time and not worry about whether your D&G sweater is making too bold a statement about your political leanings.

This is totally demonstrated by the punters. Occasionally, I do the scene pics for this paper – not naming names, but some clubs’ regulars just come over with this look of disdain that someone even attempted to breathe the same air as them; and that’s even before the camera comes out. Not so at the G’hound - as I walk around the dance floor, I’m greeted by nothing but friendly faces, and some damn cute ones at that.

But it’s always an eclectic bunch, to say the least. It’s the kinda place you could take your mum out to a gay club the first time; or your straight colleagues after a boozy work do; or even your gayest of gay mates - it’s more versatile than a $2 hooker. And as a mate commented after going for the first time recently, looking out into the crowd, it’s hard to miss the bunches of bouffant hair bouncing awkwardly on high heels. The ‘hound is definitely a magnet to our lovely drag queens, with many making an appearance on their renowned stage shows each week. Could it be because the Greyhound has the biggest drag stage and shows in Melbourne?

Best of all, there’s two new shows for your delectation. The classics are back (it’s like they never went away) with the creatively-titled Classics show, at 11:15pm and 12:15pm on the dot. Featuring Paris, Vivien St James, Laura Gravity, the Greyhound Dancers (sexy boys Simon and Mike) and special guests, the girls are putting the ‘class’ back into classics (or ‘ass’, depending on your view) and whipping the crowd into a frenzy. The Vivien St James Bar & Lounge is also getting more and more popular with the cast, so pop out there after each show and have a drink with the girls.

The Golden Girls Sue Ridge, Emerald Stone, and Gloria Goldigger have also been busy putting together some new numbers for their ever-popular ever-camp early show at 9:50pm. A good excuse as any to get down there before 9:30pm, as the first 80 beer drinking customers before then get two free pots for their $8. Not a beer drinker? Then you haven’t lived! But you get in for the bargain price of $5. If that’s not enough, there’s a chance to win a huge prize for being on their mobile phone list if you’re at the ‘hound for their 9:50pm show. This week the jackpot has reached over $500 value in cash and prizes – now that’s a lot of gravy.