Turn that Monday frown upside down by getting along to Candy Bar Bingo, hosted by Melony Brests –including bingo, game shows, drag shows and prizes. Balls drop from 9pm, and coins go to charity. Not far away at Diva bar, DJ Phil will be rocking the joint from 7pm til 3am – and who could resist free entry, $2 stubbies, $3 Crownies, $3.50 wine / bubbly or $4 basic spirits?

You could resist them the next morning though, when you wake up with a jackhammer going off inside your head. So! Tuesday’s hangover cure: ‘think juicy thoughts’ and drink plenty of OJ. Another handy hint is to tell everyone you missed Desperate Housewives, so then no one will have anything to talk to you about Tuesday morning.

You’ll be firing on all cylinders come Tuesday night, so get on down to the Star Hotel for their Fact Hunt, hosted by quiz master Dot Com from 9pm. You can expect prizes, giveaways, mayhem and madness, with or without your own team (you can find one on the night).

Can’t find the energy to get out of bed the next morning though? Think ginger – it’s been to cure sea sickness for hundreds of years. Get down to the vege shop, score some ginger root, and crush up the ginger into your OJ – goodbye groggy nauseous feelings.

On Wednesday night, get to Diva bar after 9pm for Kiss My Brass! It’s free entry, and features shows with Miss Chardonnay (first at 11pm) and DJ Gino on the decks. Across the river at DTs, you can go all retro from 4pm, with a pool comp at 7:30pm, and their ‘create your own bar’ draws from 7:30pm also. Sanctuary is oozing Deep Grooves from 5pm til late, and there’s stunning Asian drag queens at Star Hotel’s Lotus from 8pm, with shows at 11pm and midnight. The Peel kicks off on Wednesday nights also, running from 9pm until dawn with two great shows from 10pm.

And by Thursday morning, you’ll be feeling the repercussions of your party week. Smoke like a chimney last night? Smoking doesn’t just kill, it makes hangovers a lot more miserable. Quit and your hangovers will be 50% less nasty, guaranteed. Others, try water. Drink til your stomach’s so full it hurts. You’re probably hugely dehydrated.

Thursday night is the new Saturday, don’t’ you know? You should – one glance at our scene guide shows the night is pumping. South of the river, we have Diva from 9pm, Deep Grooves from Sanctuary from 9pm, and Market’s Fruit Market from 9pm til 5am – featuring Tabitha, Regime, Roxy and guests. Way south of the river is Marky’s Bar from 8pm at Shed 16 in Seaford. Up north, there’s DTs from 4pm, a mix of rock, punk, electroclash, indie, retro and disco at Q&A @ Builders Arms from 9pm, the campest little drag house West End Girls @ Commercial Hotel from 9pm, Salon Kitty’s Club Core from 6pm, bootscooting at Star Hotel from 8pm, Glasshouse from 8pm, and the Peel from 9pm until dawn.

Friday morning’s hangover cure – well, who does work on Fridays anyway? An old, much loved and reliable cure: start the day with a double shot of vodka, and cruise through the weekend eve with a smile on your dial.

Don’t forget, you can party like its 1999 every single day of the week at our perennial favourites, Laird, Xchange and Gay Trade Bar.

Gay Trade Bar offers pool, music videos and a cool atmosphere from 5pm til 1am every night of the week. Around the corner at the Laird, you’ll find boys behind the bar from 5pm every night. Tuesday night becomes trivial with quiz master Laurie Lane’s ‘Will He Or Won’t He?’ – forget Trivial Pursuit, this game show focuses on the important things like: which gay film star did which gay film star? There are great prizes to win each week, so get down there at 8:30pm for registration with or without a team (you can find one there). Come back on Wednesday night for your retro 80s and 90s fix; and on Thursday for your leather, fetish and uniform fix with Spit and Polish in the back bar from 10pm – don’t forget the strict dress code that night though.