Anyways, Sleaze is Sydney’s gay party of the year, and the kicks off to the lead-up to that other party, Mardi Gras. And unlike those suckers who flew from Perth to Melbourne via Singapore to catch the Grand Final, you don’t have to shell out the big bucks.

Airfares, schmarefares – flying is for chumps. Drop the paper now and run to the car, you can still make it if you drive. The bonus of driving is that now the cost of your accommodation is $1.20 per hour in any of Sydney’s parking bays. With 8 hours of very cramped sleep after the party, that’s a bargain $9.60 for a two-sleeper (and trust me, even if you go by yourself, you so won’t be leaving alone).

Check out Ticketek to see if tickets are still available, or you may have a chance on the door. The party’s theme is Sinsuality, so dress to impress. Go as one of the seven deadly sins and wow the door staff for swift entry, or better yet, show them the eighth deadly sin by not covering up your face.

Once inside, it’s 10 DJs over two massive halls, thousands of hot, sweaty boys and girls... and time to show those Sydney punks what Melbourne is made of: a complete lack of planning, cramps and bad dress sense.