If you’re thinking about becoming a promoter, you should really look within yourself and ask: what’s missing. But if you’re adamant, here are some essential questions for you to ask at the interview: which key demographic does the club appeal to? Do I get free entry? Who are the DJs? Can I get a door list? What nights are you running, and which best suit my unique marketing skills? Can I have some drink cards? Does management have a five year development plan? In which corner can I secretly deal drugs?

Once you’re out and about promoting the place into the ground, make sure you strut around like you own the place. If sending out press releases, or annoying group SMSs to numbers you stole from the cloakroom for that matter, make sure you employ the word "rocking" at least five times, "pumping" seven and "$40 entry" once, at the bottom where hopefully no one’ll see it.