King Pin is part of 3on3, three venues (King Pin, Van Gogh Vodka Bar and Barcode) on the third floor of the redeveloped Melbourne Central complex. Being spanking new, it’s decked out in furniture that’s comfortable and heaps funky in a post-modernistic clean sorta futuristic kinda retrospective sorta way. I’m sorry; I’ll just put away my obvious degree in interior design now.

Launch night featured not only a free martini upon arrival, but performances from Tabitha Turlington, Swish, Toni Jaye, Regime Dettol, Chanel (with shows at 10:30pm and 11:30pm), alongside MC Spanky and DJ Paul Anderson. If that wasn’t enough, there’s regular drink specials – from two buck pots to three fiddy wine or champagne, whatever your tipple is, it’s on the cheap.

Oh, and did I mention that there’s bowling? And if you still find the concept naff, you clearly haven’t done it – and let’s face it, it’s not the most physically challenging of sports (hence the ability to do it pissed), and us gays should relish any opportunities of sporting glory that present themselves. It’s just too bad there’s no locker room shenanigans afterwards, but hey, enough martinis and you never know…