Personally, I liked him better when he was in denial – like when he poetically narrated a "hot lezbo scene" of his romance novel with "it felt good… like a penis". So good, in fact, "she suddenly felt like she was surrounded by penises. They were all around her, flopping all around and slapping her face. It was as if she were in a redwood forest of penises." But, he came out (yawn), got in a sadomasochist relationship (double yawn) which fell apart after he had a sex change. Nevertheless, a role model to us all (especially you bald transgender types).

They alluded to it in the past, but they’ve since come out as a gay couple all guns a’flaming in 2003’s "Ren and Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon" show – presenting the boys exactly as the creator originally intended. They live together (even share a bed) and Stimpy can’t stop flashing his arse at Ren. Still have a little doubt? Stimpy is pregnant with Ren’s baby. Stick that in your denial pipe and smoke it.

Spongebob caused quite the ruckus in the US, where he was accused of promoting homosexuality because not only does he sporadically hold hands with his friend Patrick which "makes the cartoon a popular choice among homosexual men", but he also appeared in a video singing to the track ‘We Are Family’ – in an effort to each tolerance and diversity to school kids. Tsk tsk, the shame. And with a sensationalist response to such an innocent tape, it’s clear there’s absolutely no need for tolerance and diversity education in the states.

The giveaway is the butch hair cut that’s always sat right next to ultra-femme Daphne in the Mystery Machine. Besides that, she faux intellectual glasses and thick turtle neck sweaters (on such broad shoulders too!).

The sky is blue. Dogs go "bark", cats drink milk, and chickens lay eggs. Vanity Smurf is gay.

Although trumping the ‘men’ of Peanuts in the butch stakes may not seem like a clear indicator of lesbianism, Peppermint Patty also has a deep, gravely voice, wears comfortable shoes and pants instead of dresses (like the other Peanuts girls) and she kicks arse with the footy. Even if all that was overlooked, don’t forget she makes her androgynous sidekick Marcie call her ‘sir’.

Carson is such an amplified exaggeration of a gay man (especially with that zoosh business), he’s a hideous caricature of himself. Who needs paints and a canvas when you have fashion advice and a catty one-liner for every rehearsed situation in one animated camp package?

C’mon – he has perfect hair all the time, and the boy cries every single episode. Plus he spends an inordinate amount of time with his sugar daddy, in this weird ‘Professor’ dominatrix role play scenario they have going on. Flaming!

This one may have flown under your radar, but have no doubt – kind-hearted pet-lover Jon Arbuckle of Garfield fame is a card carrying homosexual. In fact, Jon originally had a male housemate – Lyman – before he freaked out in a denial trip and started propositioning his vet (who could very well be a drag queen by the looks). However the gayness would live on, and was even given regular nods by its marketers – such as the poster of Garfield hugging Pooky in a cupboard with the caption "I keep my affections in the closet". Next to your Bel Ami?

When I was growing up, I knew that if I wanted to kiss any boy all I had to do was don a blonde wig and some red lipstick. Thanks Bugs Bunny! The "what’s up doc" at my rehab centre says I’ll never walk again from all the beatings but hey, Elmer Fudd and the cute but freakishly over developed guy down the street never saw it coming eh?

What have we got here? A stud who dresses up like a cowboy, still plays with (other) dolls and is best mates with a spaceman. Besides being a big gay dance party waiting to happen, add three more stereotyped costumes and you’ve got the new millennium’s Village People right there.