|
As published (click to enlarge) |
Text-only |
|
SX National #38
|
DJ (Don't Joke) - Interview with Paul Van Dyk Interviews with DJs are usually just the interviewer going through the motions of an actual, proper, interesting interview. I suppose it’s a testament to their professions that they don’t have anything original to offer and just regurgitate bland dialogue in the guise of party-talk. You ask all the right questions; the ones they want to hear like, ‘What’s the most satisfying thing about your job?’, and the answer usually some lame variant of ‘Seeing so many people peaking to my music at the same time’. You let ‘em wax lyrical about ‘choonz’, sometimes you’ll get a sound bite or snippet of something original, but mostly it’s just bullshit. So when the job of interviewing the world’s number one DJ arose, I had to wonder whether the ranking included press savvies. With Paul van Dyk’s German office phone number in hand (along with my allocated timeframe, 8:45pm-9pm), I made the call. |
|
DNA #79
|
Tricks of the trade You can learn everything you need to know about gay male prostitution from movies. Mysterious Skin tells us that guys only become prostitutes because they’ve been sexually abused. They’ll probably be messed up on drugs Basketball Diaries-style, possibly homeless a la My Private Idaho, or maybe even a fading but well-endowed porn star aka Boogie Nights. And around Oscars time, they’ll probably be all four at once. Sure, these guys can deliver emotional monologues on the state of humanity, and the over-wrought look of emotional trauma as a they turn another trick might send a chill down your spine, but keep in mind, this is the same industry that asks us to believe that every time a bell rings, an angel gets it’s wings. So it begs the question: is male prostitution really as desperate as Hollywood likes us to think it is? |
|
MCV #279
|
Desperate Divas If the foundation of an economy is supply and demand, then the gay market is in demand. Promoters and publicists nationwide are counting on the gay market to pick up the divas the rest of the country is refusing to, and to make sure of that, we’re copping their selected artists ad nauseum. Counting her recent ANZAC weekend performance, Inaya Day has performed in gay Melbourne venues three times in the last twelve months. Tina Cousins, who has performed twice so far, has another performance coming up this month. And for months it was hard to turn your head in the gay press without seeing Katie Underwood, let alone attending GayAZ or Miss Melbourne Drag’s final. Following in their footsteps are a myriad of comeback queens (Melissa Tkautz, Bardot girls, Renee Geyer) and self-proclaimed ‘divas’ (any woman related to Australian Idol). So when did appealing to a gay audience for instant acclaim become de rigueur? |
|
DNA #83
|
Gayme On! When an online game player gave himself a gay nickname in September last year, it caused quite the shit storm. The game, a massively multiplayer online superhero simulation called City of Heroes, has a filtering system in place to avoid offensive nicknames like ‘Gay Killer’. So when subscriber Shane O’Neill (who is gay himself) chose the name ‘The Gay Avenger’, the word was censored comic book style to display ‘The @&# Avenger’. He tried to find a way around it – and typed GayAvenger as one word. Success. He soon followed that up with GayController, GayRevenger and GayHealer. He found it “humorous”. Others didn’t. After receiving a complaint, the game’s publishers, NC Soft, emailed to inform him his use of the word was “vulgar” and “offensive”. Shane was pissed, and went on a smear campaign to any message boards that would listen. The ones that did were critical of its relevance, with one message reading, “When did you last see ‘The Amazing Happily Married Spiderman’ or ‘The Bi-Unsure X Man’?” Shane shouldn’t have been surprised. Gays and video games have a checkered history that dates all the way back to the 1980s. |
|
MCV #301
|
The man behind the acid Sydney has Troughman. Studio 54 had Disco Dottie. And Melbourne has its clubbing legend in the form of Grandpa Acid. An enigma in rave gear, Grandpa Acid – real name Richard – has been a fixture of the club scene in Melbourne for 20 years now. I wanted to chat to the man himself and find out exactly what makes him tick, what’s important in his life, and, just out of morbid curiosity, find out how many drugs he takes.
|
|
MCV #293
|
DJ cock-ups It was 1955 when the two turntable system was first utilized for the popular sock hops of the time, called such after the tradition of kicking off your shoes and dancing in your socks. Course, the records needed to be played by someone, so the disc jockey was born soon after. And undoubtedly, mere seconds later that DJ was wasted, tripping over wires and smashing records. The inherent nature of DJing is that, unfortunately, it’s hard to get noticed when you’re doing a good job – but mess up that crossfade, and the whole club will be sending eye daggers your way. Still, the remarkable thing is that DJs don’t mess up more than they do – after all, it’s late, they’re usually tired or imbibed, and unlike other occupations, there’s no safety net. Like, if I mess up my grammar, the editor can step in and sort it out before it goes to print. DJing, on the other hand, is like walking on a high wire without a harness on. While drunk. |
|
MCV #287
|
Bisexuellé Maybe it was Madonna and Britney sharing a snog on the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards. Maybe it was Sharon Stone’s portrayal of an ice-pick wielding maniac. Or maybe it was Channel 10’s shameless flogging of “GIRL. ON. GIRL. ACTION.” when a bit of same-sex romping happened on The OC last year. Whatever the case may be, on thing is for sure: bisexuality is in vogue. For chicks, at least. The barometer of culture at its most simple level – Big Brother – has latched itself on to the trend so heavily that this year, the only woman who will not kiss another in the house – Claire – has been the subject to intense interrogation about her refusal. At the other end of the spectrum, the boys haven’t even considered the topic – in fact, when John was pushed into answering the question by Big Brother, he squirmed for more than a few minutes before declaring he’d choose to kiss Ash because it would “disgust him as much as it disgusts me.” So why is female bisexuality a media darling while male bisexuality is still relegated to the ‘deviant’ basket in the eyes of the public? |
|
MCV #290
|
Melbourne Misbehavin' Much like Cinderella and her midnight deadline, after dark on most Saturday nights, Melbourne turns into an ugly scene. Imbibed punters pour out of their homes and in and out of the city’s clubs; drunk on self-confidence and full of an invincibility that only too many drinks can provide. And the gay clubs of this town are no exception. “When I was running nights at Candy Bar”, says ex-head bitch The Pup, “whenever we had a line out the front, people used to jump over the fence into the courtyard – but the back fence was covered in a bush. We’d catch the people doing it, but half an hour later they’d be doing it again while their clothes are being ripped to shreds by the thorns.” Seems getting in is where half the problem is, especially when it concerns the underage tykes. “They borrow friend’s IDs,” says Brett, the Market’s bouncer. “Or the most common excuse is ‘my wallet’s been stolen’ – like, probably about five wallets get stolen a night from people trying to get in who look very young.” |
|
MCV #293
|
Where has all the gay TV gone? A few years back, South Park – astute cultural commentators that they are – aired an episode called ‘South Park is gay!’, totally taking the piss out of the seemingly endless slew of gay-orientated TV shows being produced at the time (think Queer Eye, Will & Grace, Boy Meets Boy). Sure, the shows’ influences made the town’s men metrosexuals vulnerable to an attack from crab people – but they had a point in there somewhere. For a while, you couldn’t turn on the telly without seeing a gay-orientated show. |
|
MCV #297
|
Dream on! JOSH DARE’s top
15 secrets to a good night’s sleep. Some people find that relaxation CDs can help them get to sleep at night. The CDs are usually a loop of nature sounds, like the ocean or dolphin calls. Beats listening to your snotty boyfriend, at least. 2. Avoid snacks before bed Particularly sugars, as they will raise blood sugar levels and inhibit sleep. Or if you do manage to sleep, you might wake up in a couple of hours with low blood sugar levels, craving more. And if you snacked properly, there shouldn’t be any left. |
|
MCV #247
|
Mel C(ancelled)
Today, I met Mel C (Chisolm, ex-Spice Girl). Wanna read my tell-all interview with her? Well, ya can’t – she cancelled. Being the Sportiest Spice in the world apparently won’t help you from ‘running’ late.
So this article is based upon her live performance at HMV Prahran Central, the press junket, my fleeting 10-second meeting with her, and her interview on Rove Live that I just watched. Incidentally, I tried in vain to get Mel C’s publicity chick to bump Rove Live in favour of chatting with us, but unfortunately for Mel her publicist lacks vision. What’s Rove got that we don’t, huh? (Besides the national coverage, reputation and limitless charm?)
He certainly sucks up to his celebrity guests more than I do, that’s for sure. In between praising her career and pandering her ego, about the best response he elicted from her was “I’m not a lezzer”. Not that he asked, of course, she was qualifying herself after commenting how comfortable she was being sexual in her latest film clip because it of the female director. So there ya have it, girls – Not A Lezzer.
|
|
AX #53
|
Natural enemies of gay men
Watch your back comrades! JOSH DARE goes undercover to expose the biggest threats to the gay race.
Big Brother voters Go on, enter Big Brother – be our guest. Just a shame that it’s absolutely certain that, being a gay bloke, you won’t win. Heck, even that gay cowboy gay farmer gay dickhead from last year only managed to scrape into third place because his heavily-repressed “gay guys are just like everyone else” cry cry bullshit sucked in the nanas.
Lesbians You know what they say – keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. With that in mind, it’s suddenly clear why the gays have kept those man-hatin’ lesbians tucked in right next to them in GLBTI all this time. Lord knows the smell is killing us, but if we turn our back for one second…
|
|
MCV #300
|
Tea versus coffee: battle to the death
JOSH DARE weighs in on the daily war that’s being waged just by the kettle.
It’s a tense battle here today in the trenches of the kitchen come morning tea time. The opponents are fired up to boiling point and have long history of feuding. Welcome to the ultimate grudge match: tea versus coffee.
Standing in the black corner (by the toaster), over 12 centuries old is Coffee. With origins stretching all the way to Ethiopia and Europe, this contender is the Beverage Beast from The Middle East. And in the kind of orangey-brown corner, still standing after 5,000 years is Tea. The love puppy of Chinese medicine, this challenger has been dubbed The Continental Oriental.
Never before has this arena seen such bloodlust. The coffee fans are taunting, “Pussies!” at the tea drinkers. The tea fans are screaming back, “Tweekers!”. But is it an equal battle?
|
|
SX #39
|
Gayest music videos, ever
JOSH DARE takes a walk on the gay side of the music video business.
1. Madonna – Sorry Oh Madonna and her many relaunches. As if it wasn’t enough that she bore Vogue’s ‘strike a pose’ catchcry on to the world, she’s now offloaded the gayest little piece of music video tripe you could imagine. A white leotard, muscle men undressing in the back of her van, and the piece de la resistance – she rollerskates. They all rollerskate; even do a little funk train together. The only way this could’ve been gayer is if she followed it all up by dropping in to a beat and going gung ho on the glory hole.
2. Kylie – Slow Course, if Madonna’s done it, Kylie’s done it (besides the cancer thing) – and that includes totally gay film clips. So Kylie writhing on a towel in a scant swimsuit is kinda straight, but the 100 or so blokes doing the same around her in only very brief speedos with no women besides Kylie to distract them is way the opposite. Especially that ‘thrust crotch at the sky slash camera’ pseudo-yoga move. They might as well have filmed it at Prahran pool.
|
.jpg)
